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How to Properly Address Formal Invitations
by Carrie Anne Shepherd
You may be wondering what makes me an expert on this subject, so I'll start by qualifying myself. Prior to the birth of my first child and becoming a work-at-home mom, I worked for several years as an event planner in the non-profit arts community. Among the many duties in my job description was dictating how formal invitations were to be addressed. These invitations for celebrity luncheons, gala balls, meet-the-artist receptions, etc., went out to a myriad of prominent individuals such as doctors, lawyers, politicians and philanthropists.
No one is going to haul you off to jail for improperly addressing an invitation. However, if you are concerned with impressing your invitees, or at the very least not offending them, then here are some answers to some of the most common questions that arise.
Whose name should come first? The man or the woman's?
A few generations ago, it was proper to leave out the woman's first name. However, many younger women these days, myself included, take offense to being known as Mrs. John Smith. Therefore, using both first names is has become both more common and more acceptable.
When chosing to include both first name's on an invitation, the woman's name should always come first. Some believe the idea behind this is that the man's first and last name should never be separated. Others believe it is the old fashioned "ladies first" mentally. Whatever the reason behind it, the woman's name should appear first so that it reads like this:
Mr. and Mrs. Jane and John Smith
How to address an envelope when the man is a doctor.
Dr. and Mrs. John Smith
or
Dr. and Mrs. Jane and John Smith
How to address an envelope when the woman is a medical doctor.
The person with the title should alwasy come first, so it should appear as:
Dr. and Mr. Jane and John Smith
How to address an envelope when BOTH are medical doctors.
Drs. Jane and John Smith
Addressing envelopes to those with a PhD.
Traditionally, only medical doctors were given the title of "Dr." in correspondence. However, it is becoming increasingly common and accepted to use this title for PhDs, as well. If you know the person well, you'll probably already know they're preference. If not, use your best judgement.
How to address an envelope to couples with different last names.
When the wife has chosen to keep her maiden name, the proper way to address the envelope is to include both names on the same line (space permitting) like this:
Ms. Jane Doe and Mr. John Smith
If the wife hyphenates her name, it is still considered a separate last name. So the address would then appear like this:
Ms. Jane Doe-Smith and Mr. John Smith
If they are living together, but not married, then put their names on separate lines with the woman on the first line:
Ms. Jane Doe
Mr. John Smith
How to address a formal invitation to an entire family.
Mr. and Mrs. Jane and John Smith and Family
How to address a formal invitation to a child.
For girls:
Miss Jane Doe
For boys:
Master John Smith
How to invite someone who is welcome to bring a date.
Ms. Jane Doe and Guest
Incidentally, if you receive an invitation that does not include "and Guest" on the envelope, or mention it somewhere inside the invitation, then you are expected to arrive alone.
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